How To Have A Healthy Relationship With Your Wife
As if women didn't seem confusing enough when you were single, now you have to figure out how to have a healthy relationship with your wife. Marriage complicates matters because decisions about everything from Chinese takeout to car loans are no longer all about you. You have to think about your wife's needs, respect your vows and remember your mutual goals. You already learned your lesson about listening to your wife, and you know better than to cheat, so it's time to check out some more surprising strategies for a healthy marriage.
- Try new things. Dust off your bicycles and pedal to the farmer's market with your wife. Sign up for a coed boxing class together, or try a new cuisine. According to "Psychology Today," research shows that couples strengthen their bond when they try new experiences together. It's called the "novelty effect," and you can use it to foster a healthy relationship with your wife.
- Foil financial infidelity. Stuffing your credit card statement in your underwear drawer and hoping your wife never sees it is not only a bad idea, it counts as cheating. Financial infidelity can wreck your relationship with your wife because she will think you love your latest gadget more than you love her—not to mention it thumbs your nose at financial goals you and your wife created together. If you feel the need to hide your purchases, try budgeting your own personal slush fund for each of you to spend as you wish.
- Pitch in at home. Never, ever stick your wife with all the housework or childcare. Negotiating alternate days on diaper or dish duty will go a long way toward showing your wife how much you respect her. Your relationship with your wife will feel more like a true partnership.
- Spice up your sex life. Ask your wife about her fantasies and give her a taste of what she wants. Flirt with her in public. Write her a racy love note. She will appreciate knowing that she can still turn you on, and you will have a hotter sex life, too.
- Text her. Thinking about your wife? Send her a text message or email to let her know. She will feel the warm fuzzies all day long—and she might just repay you with a romp in the bedroom later.
- Hang with the guys. To have a healthy relationship with your wife, spend time away from her and go out with the guys. If you sacrifice your male-bonding time, you will eventually resent your wife—and your marriage—and neither of you wants that. Set aside time with the guys so you can vent your frustrations, seek advice, put marital issues in perspective and let loose.
- Let her grow. Support your wife when her dreams change. It may seem scary at first if she wants to go back to school or change careers, but if you try to hold her back, she will resent you.
- Reassess your goals. Take time to reassess your financial, personal and family goals. What felt right five years ago might not work anymore. Maybe you want to sock away more cash into your retirement fund, or maybe you feel pangs watching the neighborhood kids play outside and want to discuss having kids. Be honest and open, and allow her to do the same.
- Play it safe on social media. Social media sites may be fun, but they also facilitate fishy behavior. If a long-lost ex-girlfriend adds you as a friend, either ignore the request or discuss it with your wife first. Under no circumstances should you stalk exes or send racy messages back and forth. Before you know it, your "innocent" flirting will turn into much more. Social media flirting can even lead to divorce.
- Tell the truth about porn. If you enjoy pornography, never, ever hide it from your wife. Lying about it will only spark insecurities and make her wonder what else you are hiding. And you never know, she might be up for some naughty movies, too.