How To Survive An Affair
It's an experience that leaves one party devastated and feeling as though their heart might be breaking, but you can learn how to survive an affair! A marriage or relationship can recover from almost anything. But, the wound left as the result of the affair may cause damage that will never heal. The pain of knowing that your partner has left the sanctity of the partnership is only surpassed by incest. Survival is possible only if the party who has committed the inevitable is capable of complete and total commitment to removing him or herself from the affair. This means that only if he or she is capable of committing to the following requirements, only then can the relationship be repaired and survive:
- Communication. The two of you are going to have to talk. Now more than ever you will both have to take time; whatever time is needed. However, many discussions are necessary. Talking, delving deep into the heart and soul of each other and communicating is imperative. Your goal is to dig deep and find out what caused the affair such as what are the unresolved issues that each party might have and what might be making one or the other feel something is missing in the relationship. Then, work to resolve the issue or issues that made one party move into the arms of another.
- Total and complete honesty. You must be completely honest in every statement, action and thought from the moment the affair is discovered to the moment the affair ends. Not one time can they be dishonest or the offended partner will definitely know. Honesty is something no relationship can survive without. Each party must commit to being completely and totally honest with the other.
- Realize survival will take time. Healing any wound will take time. The question is, are you both willing to take the time required to mend? Is your love deep enough or strong enough for the love to survive the damage done?
- Ask Yourself the question "Do I Want This Relationship To Survive?" The one thing you must be honest about is do you, the offended party want to remain in the relationship. Sure, at times you feel that you want to make sure you allow no one to take your man or woman away from you, but do you really want the relationship to last? Forget about egos here. Forget about being the top dog. Time is valuable. We only only guaranteed this moment. We never know from one day or the next how much longer we will live. It's better to move on than linger in a relationship that you feel no longer committed to. Before expending any additional energy, make sure you want to hold on to the love that might be lost.