Why I Won't Marry Her
If you’ve ever thought, “I know there’s a reason why I won’t marry her,” then it's probably safe to say that your girlfriend isn't the girl of your dreams. You're well past the 2-year mark and she's been dropping pop-the-question-already hints incessantly. if you know you're probably never going to get on one knee for this girl, it's time for you to be dropping hints of your own--hints of the "I'm-not-going-to-marry-you" variety. She's not the one for one, or every, reason below. You know it. Now, if only she could take the hint.
- You're damaged goods. You’ve had a bad experience in the past with a girl, like every other guy on the planet. Your ex left you for another dude or none of your relationships have ever seemed to work out in the end--it happens to the best of us. Whatever the case may be, sometimes it can take a long time before you’re confident enough to say "'till death do us part." You're a man scorned and have got the trust issues to prove it. Focus on how it takes years and years for you to trust people, and you might be able to buy some time with your altar-eager girlfriend.
- You're not over "her." The real reason behind your hesitation could be the fact that you never really got over your ex. If your current girlfriend doesn't make you happy enough to mend your broken heart, then you're probably with the wrong girl. Time to stop wasting time with this placeholder and get out there, so you can find the girl you're really supposed to be with. Bring up your ex in conversation often or leave some old photos where you know your new girlfriend will find it, and she'll get the hint that marriage is probably the last thing on your mind. Warning: This will probably also cause her to break up with you. (Then you really won't have to marry her. Everyone wins.)
- Commitmentphobia You won't marry her because you’re not comfortable at all with the idea of committing. If you’ve got your life set up just the way you want it and the idea of change freaks you out, this could be what’s holding up a potential engagement. Some guys just need to get to a more mature point in their life before they settle down. Keep dropping phrases like "I don't see myself getting married until I'm retired" and she'll know she's in for a looooooooong wait.
- You’re worried about the financial aspect. Marriage means joint accounts together and calling everything “ours” instead of “mine.” Yes, it’s a little discouraging, but it’s important to evaluate whether or not your financial situation is holding you up. Maybe you’ve got plans to hit important financial milestones before settling down such as buying a home, investing, and so much more. If money is why you won't marry her, she'll actually probably understand. You could actually put your big boy pants on and have a real adult conversation about this with her. Whatever that means.
- She might not be “the one.” You're not marrying her because your'e waiting for the next best thing. She might not be "the one." This isn’t for certain, of course, but it’s a real possibility. If you shy away from every hint that your girlfriend makes about marriage, it could be because the chemistry just isn’t there. If you know, she's not "the one," and you know she's chomping at the bit to be "the one" for someone, be a man. Don't waste her time and let her go so she can go pressure some other poor guy into marriage.